in so many DIFFERENT ways.
Ways I didn’t expect, ways I didn’t plan. And I really attribute this sense of ‘peace’ ‘assurance’ and ‘wellness’ [in spite of my whole new understanding of the word- ‘pressure’] to the Lord’s comforting confirmation that:
Yes, this is where I belong.
Yes,this is what He has ‘just plain built me from scratch for’- planned for me to do, planning that began way earlier than I realize.
Yes, this is EXCRUCIATINGLY difficult.
But yes yes YES total understanding and present, complete awareness that nevertheless my Christ is CONTINUALLY, CONSTANTLY before me clinging to my right hand as I cling to His counsel.
I also attribute this precious sense of the Lord’s nearness and confirmation to all those dear, dear saints that have been lifting me up in prayer before our Lord- prayers the Lord is CHERISHING and RESPONDING to! So as deeply and sincerely as this little heart is capable of- I thank you.
Orientation was Monday and Tuesday- and HOLY COW was it an absolute BLURRR!! Let me sit here and wrack my brain so I can actually remember ‘what on earth in tha world’ happened so I can relay it back to you…
Umm, well for starters, I picked out a cute ‘business professional’ outfit for first day of orientation.
|Yeah, this is like seriously about ALL |
I can remember from that day
And started getting to know the FABULOUS people with whom I will be entrenched in a foxhole with for the next 27 months. I already adore them. Here is a glimpse of some of them [DEF not all of them pictured here, more pics to come :D ]
|Sooo grateful for Annie! What an amazing woman :D|
|ADORE these girls! Ya'll have no idea :)|
Haha- so uh, yeah! That’s the majority of what I remember about orientation: cute clothes and new friends! And lots of info info info info info info about what the next 27 months will be like.
Oh goodness, I remember something I began to experience and realize during orientation and throughout the week:
Methodist University Physician Assistant Program Faculty and Staff
In ways that have shattered and gone above and beyond any hope or expectation of mine.
In ultimate brief: every last one of them I could approach as ‘Mentor’
They are wise. They are sincere. They are crazy legit professionals. And they CARE. About us. About our wellness. Even if we don’t see it the way they do. They are going to be my pushers, encouragers, correctors. Sources of both inspiration and concern. At times amazingly pleasant, and at times incredibly NOT pleasant. But whatever happens- they have my trust. I know they’re looking out for me.
So one bright Wednesday morning, after a hug and kiss from hubby, I headed off to my first PA class- ready as I’d never be.
|Had to have a 'first day of class' outfit too :D|
How on earth to convey the first day to you, well…
You know that old fashioned, hard core way they used to teach kids to swim back then?
When they would take an innocent, unbroken little 3 year old and splosh them off the deep end and just wait for that little infantile head to come bobbing above the water again, choking gasping screaming and crying?
Yeah… It’s like that…
Cept in this story my ‘deep end of the pool’ is a man named Dr. Bruce Steffes [its pronounced “stef – us”], MUPAP Surgeon in Residence. He is one of those ‘old school surgeons’ that made it through school back in tha day when it was ‘trial by fire.’ No mercy. That is one man whose reputation precedes FAR ahead of him. The man who has had women leave his interviews in tears. The man whose ‘first years’ are known to often be hospitalized with stress ulcers and nervous breakdowns [true story]. Steffes. I was pre-determined he would end up liking me, one way or another. And yet at the same time…pretty-dang-intimidated.
So. 8 o’clock. Physiology. Steffes. He owns us for the next 4 hours [and next 3 months]. Owns. He walks in…
And blows my mind. The man is… funny! Has a hilarious sense of humor. Talks to us about the next semester- and you can just HEAR how much he cares, wants us to succeed. Yes, he did have that aura of ‘surgeon sternness’ to him. But he shared bits of his heart. Talked about his testimony, his family, the LORD! My heart was doing backflips to find out he knew [and walked with] Christ!
Really starting to like this ‘man named Steffes’, seeing new parts of the ‘legend’ that all the stories didn’t tell. This is the surgeon who picks up and leaves the country with his family for 6 months at a time to work on the Mercy Ship- a large floating hospital that travels down the African coast, meeting the healthcare needs of those who have not.
He could be gruff and intimidating to me all he wanted to. This man had a heart of gold. I trusted him- that his attitude and intimidation and OVERLOAD of information he was piling on us- he did because he thought that was what we needed.
|Sushi Night w da GIRLS :D|
|Class Picnic- ADORE them!!|
|Um, yeah...They're pretty much awesome...be jealous ;D|
Two weeks. Two weeks. That can’t be right, can’t be. Just can’t. It LITERALLY feels like two months.
|Gettin ready for Cadaver Lab- beauty AND brains :D|
It’s more difficult and more wonderful than I ever imagined. Not sure how it’s both those things at once, but it really is. So many people ask me so often- how are you? How are you? How are you? And you know what, when they do, I take a nano-reflection. And no matter how intense the pressure, how much I’ve done and how much is left- I can’t help but answer “You know, I’m well. I’m really doing well.”
It’s exhausting. I’m creating and using time I didn’t know existed, drawing from energy that comes from who-knows-where [or perhaps more accurately Who-knows-where]. The times I get to spend with the Lord and with Grayson are becoming patches here and there throughout the day. But, my glory- are they precious. And how they get me through.
|My surprise when I got home after one LONG day- I adore that boy|
It’s weird to sit here. Still. To process. So weird. Squeezing in time as it is to blog. A ludicrous to-do list beckons. But in this teeny moment this is more important.
In very short- this is very painful, and it is well. This is right. God is saturated in this in ways I’ll never realize on this side of eternity.
“Nevertheless I am continually with Thee; Thou hast taken hold of my right hand. With Thy counsel Thou wilt guide me, and afterward receive me to glory. Whom have I in heaven but Thee? And besides Thee I desire nothing on earth. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion